I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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