I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
