you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize