The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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