Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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