I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
