That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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