I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
