I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize