# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
