just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You took a bar mat shot.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
