he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
