I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
