Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
