she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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