He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the condom got lost in my hair
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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