erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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