Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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