I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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