So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
