i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
