He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize