I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
