I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
