You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
