I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
