I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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