how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
