i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
