i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
whose parrot is this?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize