hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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