"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
