Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
