A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Panties = found
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
