honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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