Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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