Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
