Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
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