Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
