I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
