he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
