i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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