Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
