party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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