i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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