K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Blood and glitter go together right?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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