Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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