Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
