According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You are the jesus of drinking
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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