so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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