I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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