Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
