I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Mom said you looked used
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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