I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
