He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I need to stop coming to work sober
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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