shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
