I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
