If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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