let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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