me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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