Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
