do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
