My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
