They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
