so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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