god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
